Intended Parents

What to Know About the Cost of Surrogacy with a Friend

Very few experiences can make you feel as honored and loved as having a friend or family member volunteer to carry your child for you.

While the cost of surrogacy with a friend or family member may be lower, other financial considerations—like medical costs, legal fees and agency services—still play a significant role in ensuring a successful journey.

Though the costs of surrogacy may seem insurmountable, surrogacy is actually a very attainable goal, with many financial resources available for intended parents like you.

With the help of your surrogate and the resources we discuss here, you will be able to grow your family in a healthy, sustainable way.

How Much Does Surrogacy Cost with a Friend or Family Member?

Usually, surrogacy costs between $150,000 and $179,000+.

Because you know your surrogate already, your overall surrogacy costs will be lower. This is because Identified surrogacy doesn’t need some of the services associated with the typical surrogate arrangement, and thus won’t need to pay the typical fees, like matching fees.

While the costs of identified surrogacies are harder to predict exactly, your cost may be as much as 20% lower.

A Breakdown of the Cost of Surrogacy with a Family Member or Friend

There will be some fees you’ll still need to pay for your surrogacy.

There are a few legal processes involved in surrogacy that you’ll need to fund, such as the initial surrogacy contract and pre-birth orders determining custody.

You may think you don’t need these contracts because of your personal relationship with your surrogate. This is not the case. For your child to be recognized legally as yours, you need the legal paperwork. And it’s always a good idea to draw up a contract for events as significant as this.

These fees fund the benefits that make agencies indispensable to so many intended parents like financial protection, medical consultation, and counseling support.

All surrogates deserve to be compensated, even if they are someone already close to you. Surrogacy is a huge emotional, physical, and mental undertaking, and compensation is often the best way to show your appreciation.

Even if your surrogate waives their compensation, you as the intended parent will need to cover the medical expenses of child birth. This will likely mean securing additional insurance, providing funds to cover co-pays, prescription expenses and more.

Additionally, you’ll need to fund the IVF process. This isn’t included in many surrogacy cost breakdowns, but it should be considered when planning your overall budget.

Miscellaneous things during the surrogacy may need funding, like travel expenses, cost of maternity clothes and more.

How a Surrogacy Agency Can Improve Your Experience

Even though you may already know your surrogate, working with an agency can offer valuable support with screening, medical care and counseling, ensuring that your journey remains on track and preventing potential costs from unforeseen complications.

Surrogate Screening

Even for surrogates you already know, screening can be a valuable process. Not everyone can carry a child completely safely, and the screening process may identify complications your surrogate isn’t aware of. A thorough screening could save you up to $10,000 in the long run.

Navigating Surrogacy Laws

Surrogacy laws vary quite a bit from state to state. In some states, it’s illegal for individuals to pay other individuals for surrogacy, while others limit these transactions to just a few thousand dollars. Others ban surrogacy entirely. By acting as a middle man that the government can monitor for ethical practices, agencies remove much of these complexities.

Financial protection

Far too many intended parents see the funds they’ve worked so hard for slip away due to interruptions, inconsistencies, or just bad luck. With premiere surrogacy agencies, financial protections are built in for intended parents, protecting the majority of their funds in unfortunate circumstances.

Case Management

Agencies often gather knowledgeable, experienced voices to help you and your surrogate through this journey, from lawyers versed in surrogacy law to former surrogates. Whenever you have questions or concerns, your agency will be able to answer with honest, first-hand information.

Does Insurance Cover Surrogacy?

Insurance coverage of surrogacy arrangements is highly variable. Some policies extend your full coverage to your surrogate, and help contribute to her compensation. Other policies don’t cover it at all, or specifically exclude surrogacy expenses.

Insurance providers Progeny and Tricare extend some benefits to surrogates on nearly all their plans. Blue Cross Blue Shield, United Healthcare, Kaiser, Cigna and Aetna may or may not extend to surrogates, depending on the details of your policy.

How do Couples Pay for Surrogacy?

Most intended parents pool a variety of different resource to help fund their surrogacy journey. Mark and Cody had their son through surrogacy on a combined income of $205,000 per year. Learn how they did it:

Case Study: How One Couple Afforded Surrogacy

Take stock of the unique assets in your life and consider how you may be able to use them to progress your goal. Your financing options include:

Grant Funds:
Funding from surrogacy grants can be extremely useful, if slightly unpredictable. These funds can be a great way to begin building your funds.
Personal Savings:
Many intended parents save for years, little by little, in order to afford surrogacy.
Personal Loans:
These will be available from your local bank or credit union, and are based on your personal credit.
401K Loans or Withdrawals:
You can borrow and repay funds from you 401K in most cases. While a loan will be direct funding, withdrawal will be taxed.
Health Savings Account (HAS):
Funds within a health savings account can be put towards surrogacy, IVF, and other fertility based programs.
Fertility Financing Companies:
Certain companies are organized specifically to help families fund fertility treatments. Securing a loan from them could mean more favorable repayment options.

How does Surrogacy Work with a Family Member or Friend?

Identified surrogacy works similarly to traditional surrogacy, with one very impactful difference: You don’t have to match with your surrogate.

This means no waiting, and a greatly reduced cost. Since you already have a willing surrogate, you won’t have to pay matching fees and wait for months while trying to find someone to carry your child.

Apart from this, your surrogacy may look much like any other. This includes potential for working with professionals: just because you’ve found a surrogate without an agency doesn’t mean you can’t take advantage of an agency’s insurance help, professional support staff, legal expertise and more.

Many agencies have an identified surrogacy program specifically to assist situations like yours. This allows your child to grow alongside your family or cherished friend instead of a stranger, while also giving you access to an agency’s full range of legal and social services – and usually at a reduced price.

Considerations in Identified Surrogacy

Separate from the surrogacy cost with a friend or family member, consider how going through surrogacy with a friend or family member may change your relationship.

If you are not intimately close with your potential surrogate, consider that this will be a bond between them and your family forever. If you are close already, consider possible downsides. How might a failed surrogacy affect your relationship? How will your surrogate feel if they end up not being able to help you grow your family?

These considerations are personal and highly subjective. Before entering into surrogacy, take an honest look at how this may affect you and your surrogate.

How Can I Get Started?

Surrogacy has no timeline attached, so you can begin your process as soon as you’re ready.

We can help you connect to compassionate, attentive professionals, ready to help you expand your family. Contact us today.

You don’t need to have everything about your plan figured out beforehand – in fact, the earlier you discuss your surrogacy journey with a professional, the better.