Intended Parents

How to Stay Positive After Failed IVF [5 Coping Strategies]


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Experiencing a failed IVF cycle is one of the most difficult moments of trying to build a family. You invested so much hope and energy into the process, only to face the heartbreak of an unsuccessful result.

While this loss can feel isolating, you’re not alone. Many others have experienced infertility challenges and came out the other side. Learning how to stay positive after failed IVF can feel overwhelming, but it’s possible to find a path forward. The decision to try IVF again, look into other family-building options or take a break to heal is up to you.

If you need someone to talk to or personalized guidance, please reach out to us. We’re here to support you on your fertility journey. Read more about how you can move forward after failed IVF.

In this article, we’ll talk about the emotions that come with IVF failure, why IVF might not work and how to remain optimistic after a failed IVF transfer.

How to Stay Positive After a Failed IVF Transfer

Staying positive after a failed IVF cycle isn’t about pretending everything is okay. It’s about finding ways to cope and gradually rebuild your emotional resilience.

It’s completely natural to experience a whirlwind of emotions after a failed IVF cycle. These feelings are valid, and it’s essential to give yourself the space to feel them fully. Suppressing your grief or trying to rush through the pain won’t make it go away. Instead, it’s better to process your emotions so you can move forward in a healthy way.

Here are some common emotions you might experience:

Here’s how to remain optimistic after a failed IVF transfer:

1. Lean on Support Groups

Connecting with others who’ve experienced failed IVF cycles can provide comfort, and sharing your story can help you process your feelings. Look for local or online infertility support groups, such as:

2. Talk to a Fertility Counselor

Therapy can be a safe space to work through your emotions and develop coping strategies. A counselor who specializes in infertility can guide you through this difficult time. You could go individually or as a couple to talk through what you’ve been feeling.

3. Practice Self-Compassion and Self-Care

Be kind to yourself during this time. Acknowledge that this is a challenging experience and it’s okay to feel hurt. Processing your emotions at your own pace will help you prepare for the next steps in your fertility journey. To help recover, you can also indulge in things that make you happy, such as a favorite food or activity.

4. Set Small, Achievable Goals

Whether it’s planning for the future or simply getting through the day, setting small goals can help you feel a sense of accomplishment and progress. Focusing on what comes next can keep you from looking backward and getting caught up in the emotions of infertility.

5. Take a Break if Needed

It’s okay to take a step back from the process to heal emotionally before considering your next steps. Taking time for yourself can help you regain strength and perspective.

Hope After Failed IVF: 3Other Family-Building Options

There are several alternative paths that may bring you closer to parenthood and renew your sense of hope after failed IVF. There is an alternative.

Surrogacy

Gestational surrogacy involves another woman carrying a pregnancy for you. This can be a great option if uterine issues are a factor in failed IVF cycles. Surrogates often have higher success rates because they must meet specific health requirements and go through a screening process.

You can get matched with a surrogate in an average of one to six months if you have embryos from a previous IVF cycle. If you don’t, you can use donor embryos or make embryos from donor eggs and/or sperm.

Egg and Sperm Donation

Egg donation allows you to use eggs from a donor to achieve pregnancy. This option can bypass issues related to egg quality and offer a new path forward.

If male infertility is a factor, sperm donation may be another viable solution. Using donor sperm can increase your chances of fertilization and a successful pregnancy.

Embryo Donation

Through this option, you can receive embryos donated by families that have already completed their own fertility journeys. Embryo donation provides new hope without the emotional and financial strain of creating fresh embryos.

These embryos can be transferred to your uterus in a future IVF attempt, or you can work with a gestational surrogate. No matter which option you choose, it can give you another chance at parenthood with potentially higher chances of success.

Finding Hope and Inspiration Through Surrogacy

Being optimistic after a failed IVF transfer is difficult. In moments like these, it can help to hear words of encouragement or watch a video that reminds you of the possibilities still ahead.

Jessica and Terah

“Don’t forget to take care of yourself,” IVF patient Jessica said. “Keep living your life. It is so easy to lose yourself/your life doing infertility treatments. Plan the vacation, eat the cake and do what you can to keep your stress levels down. The doctors that walk with us on our journey are here to support us.”

Read more of her story.

Susan and Dave

“Miracles do happen,” IVF patient Susan said. “It is an extremely emotional and difficult process, but the result is totally worth it! While I wouldn’t wish on anyone what my husband and I went through, it certainly made us appreciate our son more than we would have if pregnancy had come ‘easily’ for us!”

Read more of her story.

Rebeka and Gilad

“I was still mourning the loss of future pregnancies when we decided on surrogacy, but I think it helped give me a sense of purpose while I was still mourning,” said Rebeka, an intended parent.

Hear more of her story.

5 Reasons Why IVF Might Fail

You might wonder what went wrong or question if there was something you could have done differently. The truth is that IVF is a complex process, and there are many reasons why it may not result in pregnancy.

Here are some common reasons why IVF might fail:

By recognizing that many of these factors are beyond your control, you can begin to release any feelings of guilt and focus on what you can do moving forward.

If you need emotional support or more information about your family-building options, fill out our contact form. We’re here to help you navigate your journey, wherever it may lead.

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