How to Talk to Strangers About Your Pregnancy

When strangers ask about your pregnancy, you may not know how to respond. Here are some tips for educating others about your surrogacy.


As a surrogate, you (and your family) will often find yourselves on the front lines of the surrogacy conversation. You will likely explain your decision and the surrogacy process to your closest friends and family members early in the process, but at some point, your pregnancy will become apparent to anyone and everyone, including neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances and even strangers. Nothing attracts more questions, excitement, attention and congratulations than a baby bump — and as a surrogate, it can sometimes be difficult to know how to respond.

In this article, find advice for talking to others about your surrogate pregnancy and suggestions for responding to questions and comments from friends, family members and strangers.

Deciding Who to Tell about Your Surrogacy

You will want to share varying amounts of surrogacy information with different people. There are certain people who will need to know the details of the surrogacy, including your immediate family members and other close friends in your surrogacy support system. You may want to begin telling these close friends and family members during your decision-making and planning process, as they can provide needed support during the initial stages of the medical process and pregnancy. You may wait to tell other friends and acquaintances until a healthy pregnancy is confirmed.

Surrogacy is a fascinating topic and one that nearly everyone seems to have an opinion about. When explaining your surrogacy decision, it may be helpful to walk through your decision-making process and emphasize that it was a carefully thought-out choice that will be beneficial for the intended family as well as your own. You should feel proud of your decision to become a surrogate, and it should be a story you feel confident talking about with friends and family members.

However, when it comes to strangers you meet in the grocery store or at the gym, it usually isn’t necessary to explain your surrogacy decision or the process, or even that you’re a surrogate at all — but that likely won’t stop them from asking questions about your pregnancy.

Responding to Questions about Your Surrogate Pregnancy

In most cases, you can easily answer questions about your pregnancy without lying, simply by sticking to the facts; you can honestly answer how far along you are and express your excitement for the baby to arrive without telling the whole story, for example.

In other instances, strangers may learn of your surrogate pregnancy and see it as an open invitation to ask specific and personal questions. Most are likely well-meaning strangers who are genuinely curious about the surrogacy process, but their questions may seem insensitive or even offensive, making it difficult to know how to respond.

Here is a guide to common questions surrogates might encounter, along with suggestions to answer them:

Every surrogacy experience is different, and your surrogacy story is ultimately that — yours. It is up to you to decide when, how and with whom to share it; and in doing so, hopefully you can shed some light on the often misunderstood world of surrogacy.

If you need help talking about surrogacy or addressing difficult questions, ask your surrogacy professional for additional suggestions.

Are you interested in learning more about surrogacy or starting the process? Complete our form to request free surrogacy information now.

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