When you decide to pursue surrogacy as an LGBT couple, you may be nervous about one thing in particular: Is there a perfect surrogate for a gay couple like you out there?
While views toward LGBT individuals in the U.S. are improving, you may still be nervous about being a gay couple looking for a surrogate mother. Are there women out there who are willing — and excited — to carry a child for a same-sex couple like you?
The answer is yes: There are many women who are open to being a surrogate for gay couples, and there are even some who specifically become surrogates for this reason. No matter your sexual orientation or gender identity, you can become parents through surrogacy, and there are many LGBT-friendly surrogacy professionals who can help connect you with the perfect surrogate for this journey.
In many ways, your process to find a surrogate will be no different than the process for heterosexual intended parents. In fact, our frequent use of terms like “gay surrogacy” or “gay parents” may seem unnecessary or even insensitive — but it’s important to understand that we have a reason for this choice.
Who are the Women Wanting to be Surrogates for Gay Couples?
No matter who the intended parents are, surrogacy is a beautiful process that creates an intimate bond between them and their surrogate. The women who choose to become surrogates do so because they want to make a difference in someone else’s life; they like being pregnant and want to use their ability to carry a child to help someone who can’t.
For many of these women, it doesn’t matter what the family structure of the intended parents looks like — they just want to carry a child for someone who desperately wants to be a parent but cannot do so on their own. Surrogates always have the ability to choose the characteristics they’re comfortable with in the intended parents when they start this process, and some even specifically desire to become a surrogate for a gay couple. If you are a gay couple looking for a surrogate mother, therefore, you can find a woman who is just as excited to work with you as you are to work with her.
How Can You Find a Surrogate Mother if You’re a Gay Couple?
It’s normal for you to wonder whether your sexual orientation will impact your ability to find a surrogate. However, these fears are unfounded — there are many surrogate mothers for gay couples in the U.S. today, and all it takes is the right steps to find one for you.
As mentioned before, it’s important that you choose an LGBT-friendly surrogacy agency to help find a surrogate mother. Because surrogates always have the right to select intended parents that they’re comfortable with (including sexual orientation and gender identity), working with an agency that proudly displays its positive views toward LGBT individuals makes it more likely that you will quickly be matched with a surrogate who is happy to carry for a gay couple like yours.
If you’re a same-sex couple looking for a surrogate, the matching process will essentially be the same as if you were a heterosexual couple:
- After initial screening and testing, you’ll create an intended parent profile. This profile will make your sexual orientation obvious, but there’s no need to focus on that when you’re describing your life. What’s more important is that a surrogate can see how dedicated and prepared you are to become parents. Take this as an opportunity to explain what you’ll be like as parents and why you’re so excited to bring a child into the world.
- A surrogate will view your intended parent profile and, once she decides that you are the right intended parents for her, she will let her surrogacy specialist know. From there, you will usually view her surrogate profile to learn more about her and make sure she’s the right choice for you, too.
- You will have the chance to speak with the surrogate and get to know her before you officially embark on this journey together. After she undergoes more screening and your legal surrogacy contracts are completed, you will be officially matched with a surrogate for your LGBT surrogacy journey.
In most cases, this matching process is easy and simple to complete. Your surrogate may have questions about how you will raise a child as a gay couple, and you should feel comfortable addressing these and any questions she (or your surrogacy professional) might have about your plans for raising a child born via surrogacy or egg/sperm/embryo donation.
In regards to gamete donation, which all LGBT surrogacies require, this will usually not be a challenge to finding a surrogate mother for gay couples. The only consideration may be the syncing of cycles of the donor and the surrogate if you are using a fresh egg donation, which can usually be accomplished easily after a match has been made. If you are looking for a traditional surrogate, the process of finding a surrogate may be more complicated, but gestational surrogates for gay couples are common and much easier to find than in years past.
To learn more about how you can find a surrogate mother as a gay couple, talk to an LGBT-friendly surrogacy professional today.
Are you interested in learning more about surrogacy or starting the process? Complete our form to request free surrogacy information now.