How to Build Your Surrogacy Support System

When you become a surrogate, you will likely face some emotional challenges — which is why it’s so important to have a solid support system.

Surrogacy involves a lot of decision-making, planning and preparation — but even the most carefully planned pregnancies involve difficult days, complicated feelings, and physical and emotional challenges. As a surrogate, you will experience many of the same emotions as a woman in a traditional pregnancy, and face some challenges that are unique to surrogacy as well.

This will likely be an emotional and demanding journey, but you don’t have to make it alone. One of the most valuable resources you can have throughout the surrogacy process is a network of good friends, family members, and other supportive people to lean on.

Below, discover the benefits of emotional support during surrogacy, and learn how to build your own surrogacy support system.

Benefits of Support During Surrogacy

Your surrogacy experience is not limited to you alone. Your pregnancy will likely also have an impact on the people closest to you, including your significant other, your children, and close friends and family members. The people who care about you will be sensitive to your challenges and will want to help you overcome them any way they can. With these people at your side, your pregnancy and surrogacy experience can be much more positive and less stressful.

A good support system can provide valuable support, guidance and help throughout your pregnancy. Here are two of the main ways your support system might benefit you:

  • Offering emotional support: During pregnancy, every woman experiences moments of stress, frustration and doubt, along with dozens of other feelings. On difficult days, it is incredibly valuable to have supportive friends and family members to call.
  • Providing practical assistance: At times, you may be physically exhausted and mentally drained — it can be difficult to keep up with all of your day-to-day responsibilities while also juggling a pregnancy, along with the additional challenges and demands of surrogacy. Your surrogacy support system can help you with some of your daily tasks, whether it’s running an errand, babysitting during an appointment, or offering to cook a meal when you just don’t feel up to it.

Who to Include in Your Surrogacy Support System

Deciding who to include in your surrogacy journey can be intimidating. There are many misconceptions about surrogacy, and people are sometimes misinformed or unfamiliar with what surrogacy really means and how it works. You will want to choose people who will contribute positively to your surrogacy experience.

As you think about who to include, choose people who are close to you, who understand and support your decision to become a surrogate, and who acknowledge and respect your feelings. Your support system might include:

  • Your significant other
  • Your parents or siblings
  • Extended family members
  • Close friends
  • The intended parents
  • Religious leaders
  • Teachers
  • Counselors
  • Others in the surrogate community
  • Your surrogacy professional

Support can come from almost anywhere, and everyone’s surrogacy support system looks different. Some women choose to include only a few close family members, while others involve a large group of people from all areas of her life. Whoever you choose to include, ensure that they are helpful and that they have your best interests at heart.

How to Involve Your Support Team

Once you have decided who you want to include in your surrogacy support network, you should decide when and how to involve each of them. Some of your support team members may be deeply involved from the very beginning of your decision-making and planning process, while others will be informed and involved in the surrogacy only after a healthy pregnancy has been confirmed.

There are many ways to involve your support system throughout the process, and you may find that certain people assume certain roles throughout your pregnancy. Here are some examples of ways you may involve your team in your surrogacy journey:

  • Ask them to accompany you to appointments for moral support
  • See if they are willing to babysit during medical procedures or when you simply need to catch up on some other responsibilities
  • Allow them to help with day-to-day tasks, like housework, cooking or running errands
  • Invite them to help you relax with activities you enjoy, like a lunch out or a pedicure
  • Call them just to talk when you’re having a difficult day

Pregnancy can be stressful for any expectant woman, and when you consider the additional challenges, complexities and responsibilities of surrogacy, it can certainly be challenging at times. Your feelings and needs are valid, and you shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Remember, the people you choose to be in your support network are there because they care about you and want to help however they can.

With the support of people you love, you will always have others to help you overcome the challenges of surrogacy — as well as share in its celebrations.

Are you interested in learning more about surrogacy or starting the process? Complete our form to request free surrogacy information now.