Become a Surrogate for a Gay Couple: How to Get Started
Thinking about carrying a child for LGBT parents? You’re in luck. There are many hopeful LGBT parents who are looking for a surrogate like you.
If you’re thinking about being a surrogate, you probably already have an idea of what kind of parents you wish to carry for. Perhaps you are interested in carrying for an LGBT couple — one who could never have a biological child on their own.
If so, you’re in luck. By reading this article, you are one step closer to helping an LGBT couple or individual reach their dreams of parenthood.
In many ways, carrying a child for an LGBT intended parent is no different than carrying a child for a heterosexual intended parent. All intended parents (regardless of their sexuality) want nothing more than to have a baby, and they will always be grateful for your generosity in helping them bring a child into the world.
The first step toward becoming a surrogate for a gay couple? Contacting a surrogacy professional. They can describe how to become a surrogate mother for a gay couple and start you on the path toward finding your perfect surrogacy match.
In the meantime, you can learn a bit more about becoming a surrogate for a gay couple below.
Why do LGBT Couples and Individuals Choose Surrogacy?
Like all intended parents, would-be LGBT parents choose surrogacy to bring a child into their lives. But, if you’re considering becoming a surrogate for a gay couple, it’s important that you know a bit of history surrounding gay parenting rights.
For many years, it was illegal for LGBT individuals to adopt a child or even pursue surrogacy. It wasn’t until the marriage equality ruling in 2015 that an LGBT married couple’s right to adopt was federally protected, opening up a new family-building path. That said, there are still many private adoption agencies that prohibit LGBT couples from adopting due to “religious beliefs” — and that’s just in the United States. There are many countries around the world where LGBT hopeful parents are prohibited from adopting, either because gay marriage is illegal or because homosexual relationships themselves are illegal.
For these reasons and more, many LGBT parents make gestational their first choice as a family-building method. Not only are there many states in the U.S. where LGBT intended parents can safely and legally have a child, gestational surrogacy offers something that adoption can’t — a biological connection. Would-be LGBT parents from across the U.S. and the world frequently come to the States to build their family in a way they can’t back at home.
Why Do Surrogates Carry for LGBT Parents?
Gestational carriers always have a say in the intended parents that they carry for. Knowing that, some people ask, “Why are some women so interested in becoming a surrogate for gay couples?”
It’s a valid questions to ask. Every gestational carrier has her own reasons for pursuing surrogacy with certain intended parents, but there are a few major reasons why gestational carriers offer their services to LGBT intended parents:
- They know male gay couples can’t have a child by themselves. Simply by biology, a gay male couple cannot have a genetically related child. Heterosexual couples, on the other hand, can use natural reproduction and assisted reproduction to bring a biological child into the world. Many surrogates choose male LGBT couples because they know a third party in necessary to help that couple become parents. And it’s not just male couples who choose surrogacy; other members of the LGBT community choose gestational surrogacy due to infertility or other reasons, knowing that surrogacy is the only way to have a biologically related child.
- They recognize the difficult path LGBT intended parents have. While progressive attitudes toward LGBT rights are increasingly the norm, there are still many LGBT individuals who experience prejudice and discrimination long before they even get ready to start a family. LGBT intended parents may come from an area of the world where homosexuality is illegal or somewhere they can’t legally get married, and some surrogates want to make their family-building process as easy as possible.
- They have a personal connection to the issue. Some surrogates have friends or family members who are part of the LGBT community. Seeing the struggles that their loved ones have gone through, some women specifically set out to be surrogates to help others in this community.
How to Become a Surrogate Mother for a Gay Couple
Whatever your personal reason, you may have decided that becoming a surrogate for a gay couple is the right path for you. Now, you are wondering exactly how to become a surrogate mother for a gay couple or other LGBT intended parent in a safe and legal manner.
Every surrogacy is different, but here are a few steps you will need to start with:
1. Find LGBT-friendly professionals.
In order to carry for LGBT intended parents, you need to work with a surrogacy professional that is welcoming of LGBT intended parents in the first place. You’ll likely want to avoid surrogacy agencies with a religious background, and make sure that you always ask the professional about their intended parent qualifications before signing up. Honesty is the best policy; don’t be afraid to state your preferences up front to find the best agency for you (and your future intended parents).
You’ll likely find that all the best LGBT-friendly agencies and professionals are proud of their stance and happy to answer whatever questions you have.
2. Determine your preferences for intended parents.
So, you know that you want to carry for an LGBT couple. Great!
But, there are a few other decisions you’ll need to make to find the perfect surrogacy match for you. Your surrogacy professional will likely guide you through this process, but you’ll need to ask yourself questions like:
- Do I want to work with a couple or a single parent?
- Do I want to work with local intended parents, or am I comfortable with a long-distance match?
- Do I have preferences for family makeup (for example, whether they already have children)?
- What kind of relationship do I want to share with the intended parents during and after the surrogacy?
All of these questions will help you locate the perfect surrogacy match for your situation.
3. Complete the surrogacy process.
Once you have found the right intended parents, you will move forward with your surrogacy journey. This will involve creating a legal contract, undergoing the medical process of embryo transfer and eventually giving birth to the intended parents’ baby. Your surrogacy professional should be there to support you every step of the way.
Many aspects of becoming a surrogate for a gay couple are the same as becoming a surrogate for a heterosexual couple, but there are a few major differences. A sperm or egg donation will be required to complete the intended parents’ embryo, but this will often not affect you unless you are a traditional surrogate (which is uncommon today). Depending on state laws, there may be extra required steps to establish the intended parents’ rights after birth, but your lawyer will make sure you are aware of them before starting.
That’s how to become a surrogate mother for a gay couple or LGBT individual in a nutshell. But, remember: Every surrogacy is different. The best way to learn more about an LGBT surrogacy journey is by speaking with a surrogacy professional. Contact one today for answers to all of your questions and to start your search for the perfect intended parents.