Dating as a Surrogate [Discussing your Surrogacy Decision]

Surrogacy is a lengthy process that can last up to a year or more. While this process requires a lot of physical and emotional effort, you’re not expected to put the rest of your life on hold.

If you are in the process of dating or want to date, there are no restrictions when it comes to surrogate mother dating.

To get free guidance about dating as a surrogate, contact a surrogacy professional today. But, to find out some helpful information now, continue reading.

Do I Need to Tell My Surrogacy Professional that I’m Dating?

Yes. While it might feel strange to disclose that you are dating to your surrogacy professional, it is purely precautionary. Your surrogacy professional doesn’t want to police your personal life. They just want to be sure that any new partners are properly screened for your health and that of the baby you are carrying for the intended parents.

If you feel your relationship may become sexually active, you will want to communicate this to your surrogacy professional beforehand.

Any partner or prospective partner you have will need to go through testing for communicable diseases and a urine drug screen to ensure the health and safety of the baby. Once again, this is purely precautionary to protect the best interests of you, the baby and the intended parents.

If your partner happens to test positive for an STD or other communicable disease, this will not hinder your chances of becoming a surrogate. You will just need to abstain from sexual contact until the baby is born.

How Do I Talk to My New Partner About My Surrogacy?

There’s already a lot to think about when it comes to dating someone new without factoring in talking to them about surrogacy. However, if you feel like someone could be a regular part of your life, it’s better to have this conversation sooner rather than later.

While it’s valid to be worried that this will complicate things, you should never try to hide your surrogacy from prospective partners. Surrogacy is a big part of your life. Honesty is the best policy when approaching this topic.

Surrogate dating might seem intimidating or maybe even impossible, but there have been many surrogates who have started happy relationships before or during their surrogacy journey. You can reach out to these surrogates for guidance and insight through online forums or support groups.

When talking to your partner about your surrogacy, there is a chance you may experience confused reactions. They may be caught off guard, or they just don’t know enough about surrogacy. Anticipating potential questions and planning what you’re going to say ahead of time can help you better explain your side and address any questions or concerns they might have.

During this conversation, talking about why you want to be a surrogate is just as important as explaining the process. Even if they’re having a hard time processing your choice, seeing how passionate you are about it might make it easier to process this information. Make sure you give them the space to assess how they’re feeling and ask questions if they have any.

If this new partner supports or accepts your decision, then great! Furthering your relationship with this person may be within reach. If they are uncertain or against your decision, then this relationship may not work out. At least not right now. They may just need reassurance or more information. Be open to discussing their concerns.

Why Some Surrogates Wait to Date

Dating during your surrogacy will always be your choice to make. Because surrogacy can be a lot for a new relationship, some gestational carriers choose to wait until after the baby has been born to begin dating. Here’s why:

  • In the weeks before the embryo transfer, you will be asked to abstain from sexual activity so that no accidental pregnancies occur. This can be difficult for new partners to process, and having to forgo intimacy can be difficult for some relationships.
  • Finding time to devote to a new relationship during your surrogacy journey might be difficult. Between doctor appointments and surrogacy meetings, caring for your children and additional responsibilities, finding time for your partner might be challenging. Waiting to begin a new relationship until after the baby is born will give you more time to get to know your partner better and truly focus on the relationship.
  • While there are people out there who would be supportive of your decision to become a surrogate, this may be difficult for others. Dating a surrogate mother going through a process as complex and life-changing as surrogacy can be a lot to process for potential partners who are just beginning to get to know you.

Next Steps to Starting Your Surrogacy Journey

Dating during surrogacy can be the start of something beautiful. It’s important that you are transparent and open about your surrogacy. Communication will be more important than ever during this time. To get guidance on how to talk about your surrogacy with a new partner, contact a professional today.

Male and Female couple smiling with surrogate mother
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