Being a Single Surrogate [Embracing your Support System]

Key Points:

• Learn how to pursue surrogacy as a single surrogate.
• Discover what questions you might need to ponder as you begin the surrogacy process.
• Contact a surrogacy specialist to get support on your journey as a single surrogate.

If you’re asking, “Do you have to be married to be a surrogate?” because you’re a single woman who wants to give hopeful intended parents the gift of a child, you’ve come to the right place. Yes, you can become a surrogate mother if you’re not married.

To get more information about becoming a single surrogate, reach out to a surrogacy professional today.

Speak with a specialist today!

While going through the surrogacy process with a spouse or partner can be helpful, many women successfully become single surrogates. While being a single surrogate is possible, it will be a different experience than if you had a partner. Surrogacy is a big emotional, physical and time commitment. This article breaks down five questions to consider before committing to the surrogacy process as a single surrogate.

1. Are you Dating or do you Plan on Dating?

If you’re dating someone or wanting to enter the dating world, you will want to be prepared to explain your surrogacy to your partner or prospective partners. If your relationship does become serious, they will need to go through psychological screening and medical screening for sexually communicable diseases. It’s important that your partner is on board with your decision. If you don’t have the support of your partner, this may complicate your relationship and the surrogacy process.

During the IVF process, you will need to abstain from sexual activity so that you can avoid any accidental pregnancies. If your partner has an issue with any of the ramifications of surrogacy, then you may want to put your surrogacy journey on hold until you can reach an agreement.

If you do start seeing someone new, you should notify your surrogacy professional immediately so that they can ensure that your new partner is tested for STDs before your relationship becomes sexually active. All of this can be awkward for a new relationship, but these are all measures necessary for a safe and successful surrogacy.

2. Who will Take you the Hospital When you go into Labor?

As a single surrogate, it’s important that you have someone else in mind that you know you can contact and that will be prepared to take you to the hospital in the event of an emergency or labor.

You may want this person to be a member of your support system who lives nearby so that they can get to you as soon as possible. Make sure that whoever you choose is someone who you can rely on to drop everything at a moment’s notice to come to your aid. You should also be sure to fill this person in on the hospital you have chosen, who you want them to contact and any other arrangements you want to be made.

3. Do you Have a Reliable Support System?

While you are capable of being a single surrogate, surrogacy is a demanding process. Having a support system is important to have a positive surrogacy experience. Friends and family who you can lean on for emotional and practical support will be invaluable to you during times when you may feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of surrogacy and physical limitations of pregnancy.

Think about which friends and family members you know will be encouraging and supportive during this long and complex journey. You may also find support in the intended parents of the child you’re carrying. Because you are giving them the chance to have a child that is biologically yours, they will be happy to lend any assistance they can.

4. Are you Prepared for the Fertility Treatments?

One of the most important parts of the medical process is the fertility treatments you will undergo to prepare yourself for the embryo transfer. You may be required to administer fertility drugs to yourself daily in the form of injections. Some people struggle with this and typically have their spouse or partner do it for them.

If you find this is not something you are capable of, you can reach out to a member of your support system to help with this. The fertility drugs must be administered at the same time every day, so it’s important that whoever you ask is someone who can be consistently available at whatever time you choose to take the drugs. 

You should also have a backup plan in case something comes up and they are not able to give you the shots. It’s recommended to administer the shots yourself, but if you can’t, you should have a contingency plan.

5. Will your Job Accommodate your Surrogacy Schedule?

While your finances during your journey as a single surrogate should be pretty well taken care of between the monthly base compensation and coverage of your surrogacy and pregnancy-related expenses, you will likely need to take time off to make it to surrogacy meetings and doctor appointments. 

You should also educate yourself on your company’s maternity leave and maternity pay policy. In many cases, your surrogacy compensation and allowance will cover any wages lost during the surrogacy process.

If you want to begin a family of your own but don’t have partner, surrogacy is still an option for you. You can reach out to a surrogacy professional today to get started.