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Intended Parents

Choosing a Sperm Donor [Things to Consider]

If surrogacy with donor sperm is part of your journey to becoming a parent, then you’ll want to know how to choose a sperm donor.

The right donor can bring you closer to realizing your dreams of parenthood, but understanding the process, from selecting donor traits to reviewing medical history, is essential.

No two journeys look exactly alike and knowing what goes into the decision can help you identify what’s most important to you.

Find out more about sperm donor requirements

You can use this article as a complete guide for choosing a sperm donor, from certain aspects to keep in mind to deciding on the type of sperm donor you want, and where you can find one.

How to Choose a Sperm Donor [3 Steps]

When it comes to how you choose a sperm donor, you need to decide on the type of sperm donor you want to work with first.

Step. 1 Determine Preferred Donor Qualities

When it comes to choosing a sperm donor, you are able to determine the traits you want the donor to have. Examples of traits you can choose include:

  • Physical attributes

  • Ethnicity/Heritage

  • Medical history

  • Career

  • Educational background

  • Lifestyle

  • And more

    Step 2: Find a Sperm Bank

    Once you know what you are looking for in a sperm donor, you need to find a professional that can help you find a donor that meets your preferences.

    Sperm banks are one such professional that has a wide variety of carefully vetted donors you can choose from. Similar to choosing what you want in a sperm donor, you can choose what you want in a professional you work with.

    From their standards and practices like how what information you can learn about a donor to the cost of their services and what they entail.

    Step 3: Browse Donor Profiles (and/or) Choose a Donor

    Once you have an idea of things to consider when choosing a sperm donor and a professional to find them, you can start browsing profiles.

    Find out more about the costs of using a sperm donor

    What to Consider When Choosing a Sperm Donor

    After deciding on the type of sperm donor, when it comes to choosing a sperm donor, here are some things you should keep in mind.

    Is Your Medical History Compatible with Your Donor’s?

    One of the most important aspects of using donor sperm is knowing that it will not affect the success of a pregnancy or health of the child.

    If you or your partner have a genetic disease, or there is a history of a genetic disease in your family, knowing’s a donor’s medical history to make sure they don’t carry the same disease can be an easy way to distinguish if you want to work with them or not.

    Do You Want the Donor to Look Like You?

    Unlike choosing a known sperm donor, you don’t know what the donor looks like.

    Some intended parents prioritize their children looking like them, some do not.

    Depending on your preference, you can find donor profiles with sperm banks of donors with traits like height, eye color and hair color.

    Are you prepared for choosing a sperm donor of a different race or ethnicity?

    If having a child that doesn’t share the same physical appearance as you isn’t a priority, be prepared to explain to your child where they are from as they get older, notice the difference in appearance and ask more questions.

    This could look like preparing with your partner about how to approach the discussion, from reading books or listening to podcasts about the topic to having children’s toys and books to give them a representation of their heritage.

    As they get older, you should be prepared to address additional topics that come with growing up like societal issues and challenges.

    With a sperm donor of a different ethnictyi or cultural background, plan ahead with how you want to talk to your child about their level of interest in learning more about their ethnic background.

    What relationship do you want with the donor?

    This used to be the most common type of sperm donor, with no information about the donor shared and no direct communication between you and the donor. But be aware that in today’s day and age of social media and ancestry tools (23&Me, Ancestry.com, etc.) that anonymity is not guaranteed.

    Open Donors agree to at least one contact with any child created from their sperm once the child turns 18, but are not required to continue communication and have no legal rights or obligations. ID Disclosure Donors, on the other hand, consent to release their personal information—including full name, donation location, and last known address/email—once the child reaches 18, which may be helpful for future conversations about the donor’s identity.

    This is the term used when you have a sperm donor that you know personally, whether it’s a family member or friend. 

    Does your sperm donor have other children?

    Your sperm bank may or may not provide this information.

    The relationship you want with the donor could be the same or different when it comes to your child and any genetic half siblings they may or may not have.

    What education level or career are you looking for in a donor?

    While some intended parents may place an emphasis on physical characteristics, you may want a sperm donor that has a certain level of education or a specific career.

    You can find a sperm donor that meets that threshold whether it’s a high school diploma or collegiate degree, or if you want donor with a similar career as you, or just in a field that you deem interesting or admirable.

    Does blood type matter when choosing a sperm donor?

    No, blood type generally does no matter when it comes to what to consider when choosing a sperm donor.

    But be aware that blood type can matter in rare situations if your blood type is Rhesus negative (Rh-) and the donor is Rhesus positive (Rh+).

    If that happens, there’s a 50% chance that your child will have a Rh+ blood type and could result in you developing antibodies against your child.

    Where to Find a Sperm Donor

    Now that we’ve gone through some example of things to consider when choosing a sperm donor, you probably want to know where you can find one.

    Your two primary options are: 

    When it comes to choosing a sperm bank, be prepared. Know what you are looking for and what’s important to you. Here are some examples of questions you could ask sperm banks you are considering working with:

    A fertility clinic will be required to help you create the embryos from your eggs and the sperm from the donor. If you don’t have a fertility clinic yet, we’re here for you.

    Contact us online to get connected with reputable clinics that are close by.

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