How to Choose an Egg Donor for Gay Couples

Choosing an egg donor is a significant decision in the IVF process because the eggs will determine half of the genetic material of your child.

Once you have an egg donor, you can create an embryo, and when your embryos are created, you can get matched with a surrogate in as little as 1 - 6 months. If you want to connect with an egg donor for surrogacy, you can contact a surrogacy professional now who can help you get started.

You can read more about known vs. unknown donors here, or read on to learn more about the process of finding an egg donor and what to look for as you choose an egg donor.

How to Choose an Egg Donor

Choosing an egg donor has some common steps among families, but ultimately, your family has the last say on who will be the egg donor for your pregnancy.

Step 1: Egg Donor Search

Before you can choose an egg donor, you will need to connect with someone who is willing to become an egg donor, which could be someone in your life or someone you find through a fertility clinic, egg bank or donor egg agency.

Step 2: Egg Donor Screening

Once you have some potential egg donors that you know personally, you can ask questions and get medical screening to make sure that your egg donor fits the necessary criteria. If you go through an egg bank, the donors may be pre-screened and you can focus more on specifics you are looking for.

Families often look for:

• A donor that looks like them
• A donor of the same ethnicity
• An educated donor
• Desire to be a part of the child’s life

Step 3: Egg Donor Agreement

Once your egg donor has been screened, your egg donor will make an agreement with you to use her eggs. This can allow you an easier path to being legal parents to your child.

Step 4: Egg Retrieval [Fresh Donor Eggs]

If you are pursuing fresh donor deggs, your egg donor will need to undergo the egg retrieval process.

Learn more about egg donation for gay couples here. CTA[SP1] 

What to Look For In an Egg Donor

Intended parents often look for:

• Age: Typically between 21 and 30, as younger donors tend to have higher-quality eggs.
• Health and Genetics: A clean medical history and low risk of genetic diseases.
• Blood Type: Choosing a donor with you or your partner’s blood type may mean that the child will share your blood type.
• Physical Attributes: Many parents prefer donors who share similar physical traits, such as height, hair color, and eye color.
• Personality: Traits such as kindness, creativity, and intelligence are often valued, and some parents look for donors with compatible personalities.
• Experience: Having a donor who has completed the process may give you peace of mind, and also means your child could have genetic half-siblings.

Ultimately, the ideal donor varies from couple to couple, reflecting their personal preferences and values.

Known Egg Donor vs. Anonymous Vs. Open ID

A known egg donor is someone personally connected to the intended parents, such as a friend or family member, who has agreed to donate their eggs.

An anonymous egg donor is not known to the intended parents and typically does not have any ongoing relationship with them. Donor information is often limited to general traits and medical history.

An open ID donor is open to having their identity shared with the child once he or she turns 18. This can allow your child to contact their egg donor when they are an adult.

There are pros and cons for each option, but anonymous egg donors are becoming less common due to widespread availability of genetic testing and the benefits that can come with continued contact with an egg donor, such as updated medical history and identity formation.

Where to Find Egg Donor Profiles

Here are some of the places you may find potential egg donors:

• Surrogacy agencies can often connect you with egg banks as you begin your surrogacy journey
• Fertility clinics
• Egg banks
• Family and friends can sometimes be egg donors

Tips on Choosing an Egg Donor

Browse Multiple Profiles

While you can seek out egg donors in various places, if you’re looking for something in particular, reputable egg banks are more likely to have egg donor profile photos and things like screening and background checks, which can be easier to handle than seeking someone out in your own life.

Look for What You Care About

Every family is different, so think about what you are hoping for from egg donation and discuss it with your family so that you have a good idea of what you are looking for ahead of time.

Think About the Future

As you look for an egg donor, you may want to consider questions like these:

• Do I want my child to have a continued connection with the egg donor?
• How will I get medical history updates from the egg donor’s family?
• What factors will make a difference in our child’s life long-term?

When your embryos are ready, you can get matched with a surrogate in an average of 1 - 6 months. Get help with matching when you fill out this form.

Frequently Asked Questions

How to select the best egg donor?

The best egg donor for each family may be different, but families commonly look for things like younger age, health, availability, and commitment to the process.

Can you Choose Your Egg Donor?

Yes, you can choose an egg donor for your IVF or surrogacy journey. You can find recommendations for egg donors through fertility clinics, egg banks, surrogacy agencies, and can find egg donors that you know personally.

How to decide to use a donor egg?

If you are a gay couple who wants a biological connection with your child or you have few or no quality eggs for IVF or surrogacy, using a donor egg can mean having the family that you are dreaming of.

Can You Choose the Ethnicity of Your Egg Donor?

Yes, you can search for an egg donor of a specific ethnicity. Intended parents often look for egg donors that share their own ethnicity.

What are the disadvantages of using donor eggs?

Using donor eggs can be a viable path for many individuals and couples, but it comes with its own set of challenges like higher cost, emotional challenges, lack of genetic history, and legal considerations to establishing parenthood legally.

Who are the most desirable egg donors?

The most desirable egg donors often share several key traits that intended parents look for: Younger age, good health with no genetic disorders, physical attributes that intended parents seek, education and accomplishments, positive personality traits, and availability to commit to the process and willingness to continue communication.